Over the weekend, i was being a good boy and stayed home. But bad boy coz i din study....
Anyway on sunday, i packed my room. i thought it was too darn messy to be living in comfort. and i was paking my cupboard and found many cologne samples.
One of which is Issey Miyake's L'Eau Bleue D'Issey. This scent reminded me of someone i used to date: H. H wears this cologne. Even though my time with him was a short one, but i catn help but have some memories coming back to me when i had smelt that again. This relationship was short-lived and probably, not meant to be. The thoughts tat came back, none was about how things could be if we din end it. I had totally moved on.
I also remember telling my ex D that my 21st birthday, i had asked for Clinque's Happy. He wore that so whenever i smell that cologne, i will b reminded of him. But i have to say, it's my kind of scent, or i could have grown accustomed to it. oh well..
ANYWAY, i miss songkhran!! was there in 2005. and by planning AHEAD, the next time i can go is in 2009! so long....... i also wanna go hongkong for the summer........ CRIES!!
was watching "The Dance Floor" on ch 5 today. only managed to catch the last 3 teams in the line up dancing. and i have to say Soul Fusion is really good. Well from wat was said, it was their style of dancing. My eyes were kinda glued to the only guy in the group. he looks gay. and i saw someone in the audience supporting that group which i recognise. cant rmbr his name.. coz m not acquainted with him, but he is urbankid's tall frd? Anyway, that dancer is damn good la! and also cute. i guess...... he is? hmmm...
anyway, it's the time of the year again. but this yr, i want to do something different. the past 2 yrs have been chalets to celebrate my day. this yr, i shall do wat a frd's msn said. that on ur birthday, remember the lady in the kitchen (and FYI, it's ur mother).
after appreciating tat statement, i agree with it. all so often we forget about the woman tat gave birth to us. they slogged it out in order to allow us to see light. all that huffing and puffing. all those sweat on her forehead. screaming her way through. NOT forgetting the whole 9months of pregnancy!
ya.. so will be spending some time with the lady who gave me life.
i dun feel like going to sch to study!! and i have a prelim paper tmr. sigh... why? dunno. feeling lethargic. din sleep enuf, coz i woke up thinking it mite have been 10+ 11am. sometimes my body clock is screwed up and i end up sleeping till that time. so i was somewat rudely shocked, but when i turned on my hp, it's only 8+. sianzz...
so i turned on my com after a while.. and checked my stuff.. and came across these videos, which came as a recommendation from a frd a few nights ago. so decided to watch it.. the show is δΈεζ (a korean aj movie).
i was not able to embed it here due to unknown reasons.
gosh.. had seen dreamgirls with him on saturday. and i have to say, i truly enjoyed the movie. so nice!! the songs are great! thou i wanted to compare this movie to Chicago (both movies are broadway productions b4 they became movies), but they are somewat in different leagues.
But oh my.. jennifer hudson! she was my favourite american idol contestant that season! when she was in the bottom 3, i was hoping for either Fantasia or Latoya to b out. She gave the best performance the wk b4 that. From the best the wk b4 to the worst the following wk, wat a drastic drop!
Anyway, the performance for me that won my appalaud was "And i am telling you"
here's the clip from youtube.. so nice ;)
And Beyonce had her moment. When the oscars were on, i haven seen Dreamgirls yet. and i thot "wow. she sang so well. and so passionate! and she was wonderful!"
here's the clip from the show (finally found the embedded version)
and lastly.. it's the performance at the oscars! Wat a movie.. and i suspect, One Night Only will be the lastest dance song to be added to george's playlist!
the title of this entry is looking back @ 2006. i have to say, there were many milestones this year.. (in order to recall the things that happened, i will try to think of them in months)
January -Chris birthday on the 1st! *nothing i can remember but maybe trouble with writing the date. so used to writing '05 and had to change to '06. i foresee the same problem next month!
Feburary -V day. had to spend it alone coz chris was in NZ for work. or is it the states? hmmm..
March -Moi's birthday @ chalet. many of u guys came down. thanks for that. alot of mossies. yucky. many pressies. -race. packed our bags after one day of race. really disappointing. but only our 2nd race ever.
April -prep for the exams. -yongmin's birthday
May -exams...... (eventually got the highest mark out of my team mates for one of the subject. the rest, slightly below average)
June -vacation. was supposed to go for my backpacking trip after the exams with yongmin. but his granny was admitted to hospital. so we cancelled our backpacking trip. instead, chris n i went to cambodia: Siem Reap and Phnom Penh. good trip as i managed to cover 2 cities which i have not been too. disappointed tat i couldnt backpack thru vietnam -intensive trainings.
July -race. din pack our bags on the 1st day. had a major incident which could have resulted in a 1st in the heats. another boat got 1st in their heats. eventually they ended the finals in 4th. tough fight but a good showing. gota bronze. my 1st medal ever -started drifting apart from chris. someone came into the picture. cracks became splits. -chalet with my mates. uniform party. had ALOT of fun
August -sch starts. for one subject. -ended officially with chris. he was so cool on the outside but broke on the inside. -recruitment for the new intake. alot of people signed up. the rate of renewal is on track.
September -sch starts officially.
October -participated in the New Balance Real Run. my 1st ever 10km run. managed to finish it with 2 blisters on my ankle. ankle socks n sand doesnt go well with skin. hah. -signed up for the standard chartered marathon. 42.195 or 21km? tough choice. peer pressured into the 42.195km! -tough trainings for the race ahead. trainings intensified till 4 times a week
November -tough trainings continued for the 1 week prior to race. -met Dar during this week of intense training. he's my lucky charm. (see below) -race again. one cycle completed. we came with a vengence. din want to club on the 1st night. we fought hard, got into 3 semi finals, 1 plate finals and one grand finals. my 1st piece of silver! WooHoo!
December -Standard Chartered Marathon. all 42.195km of it. all thanks to James who ran with me the whole time. without him, i couldnt finish it. Once it had passed the 10km mark, any more distance, would mark the longest i have ever ran. -Penang Pesta. enjoyed the trip totally. thou there had been some unhappy incident. won myself a bronze. good memories with a bunch of good friends. -pageant. disappointed tat i din win it. oh well.. -xmas with my dar. totally wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My whole day was spent with my dar at home. Today is a saturday and yet my mum is out at work. that presents a good opportunity for us to juz laze at home (and also without the hassle of thinking of wat to do).
it was great. we could juz lie in bed, do nothing but watch tv. he helped me pack my room and i went to wash my shoes (after many months of runs, leading up to Regatta). prep our own lunch n dinner. and be happy.. haha..
i'm in pain!! one of my eye lid is swollen. it's said tat u will get that if u peep at someone showering? my eyes are already so small and now, the right eye can only be half opened. quite annoying. sigh..
other than tat, trainings are constant. 4 times a week. 2 more weeks till race day. it's happening on the 11-12 Nov @ Boat Quay.
Alot of my time is spent in my team. part of my time is spent in class. some of my time is spent with him. and wat's left? not much time for my studies. i need more time to study. i dun want to wait till it's too late b4 i regret. oh well..
1) had training yesterday. it sux to cringe even b4 leaving my house, dreading every aspect of it. thou sat's training was quite a good one, but sunday turns out to b otherwise. morale was low. strength was non-existence. the boat was sluggish. nothing i was happy about. after training went for food. had walked ard suntec for a while. NO ENERGY to walk also. sigh..
2) had made a choice. it was a wrong choice. and the problem was that i din say it in a way which is simple. and i eventually caused hurt to someone dear to me. spent the whole nite feeling anguish. i felt so guilty. so annoyed at myself. for not having him on a higher level of priority. i made him interchangebly with my frds/family/db and other stuff. thinking back, i think i mite have done tat to C too.. but this time, he said it to me, and i was feeling damn lousy about myself. m i ready to b with someone? wat i did yesterday was really not forgiveable. i do hope he does forgive me.
i couldnt think of a subject and hence i said tat.
juz came back from the airport after sending someone off.. to taiwan. thou a short trip, my heart started missing him when i couldnt see him anymore beyond that immigration point.
today i feel sick.. everytime i get a surprise (eg. like not seeing someone walking ard the corner or stunned at smth), my head feels like it had been shook. oh well.. will sleep early tonight again..
BUT my post today is a series statements regarding me understanding myself and a few questions for those reading.
Being in a rship. i had been in some b4. C, J, D.. period: 1yr, half yr, 2 months. back in the past, i remembered gary once told me something about being in a rship. there r certain period of time tat one needs to be aware of: 3mths, 6 mths, 9mths and 1 yr.. especially in the 1st yr.
with my rship with C, i can really understand the ups n downs of this cycle. but i want to know how do u all stay focus, still continue being in love? one year on.. things might have been juz normal. nothing seriously exciting. movies, sleep overs, dinners, leisure shopping, vacations.. only vacation out of the options above sounds a little interesting..
i have no idea wat in my journal entries recently which suggested that i am seeing someone. wat a wrong perception.
m i lonely? gosh yes. am i alone? i guess not. i have friends. things i need to remember. but how many friends i have? not many. yes some of u guys i will regard as frds but i think frdship has many layers. people i go out to enjoy ourselves, people whom i can confide in, people i talk to often enuf. by that definition, most of my frds are of the last option. anyway, i dun want to sound sad talking about that.
2 diff ppl asked me last nite if i did hook up with anyone last nite at attica. when one is not enjoying himself, and witht he dancefloor being so darn crowded, not easy. but i was not in the best mood. so many disgusting people dancing on the dancefloor, pushing their way.
i have so much i want to rant about last nite. so much i want to rant about my life. i am definitely not happy about my life.
today's thought: when you know someone new, there could be alot to talk about initially. does it mean i like you? well... it could mean that we have alot of things to discover about each other. can i say i fancy you? yes it could. i fancy you to want to know you better. does it mean i want to be with you forever? i wonder...
everytime when i get to know someone new, if that person is eloquent and is willing to let go of himself to immerse in a conversation, we could have a wonderful chat. but also when u get to know someone new, the 1st conversation could offer u an insight to whether do you guys have chemistry. sometimes, yes, but most of the time, no. there are juz not so many good conversationalists these days. and i will not say tat i am one. coz if i am one, when one talks to another person whom u know u cant click, i think the good conversationalist (or journalist for that matter) is able to make conversations with the other. but i am not able to do so.
and i had a 2 hr conversation earlier on with someone. recently, i have been able to converse on these levels with them. but he made one point which i agree.. i am more of a listener than a talker. hmmm.. why so? why is it so hard for me to share my life with others? actually no it's not difficult but why is there so few things i can say about my life whereas others can juz go on n on n on?
been wanting to update my LJ for a while.. but whenever i wanted to update, it's too late or i had forgetten wat i wanted to say.
well.. life for me these days, been quite alright. sch juz started for me on tues.
(actually these were written on tuesday) But today i want to review my love life/history and wat's instored for me.
Ever since i am officially single, i have met up with quite a few guys. (my bro can attest to that.. hahah). m i sure of wat i want? i guess i can say tat. but have i found wat i like? i dun think so. but i do enjoy the process of getting to know new guys. getting to know more about their lives. but many a times, they feel a little insecure being with me. but i'm seriously not as "popularly liked" as they would like to think....
Anyway, TODAY (14/09) i challenged myself. i ran approx 10km in an hr. was so proud of myself. i am easily satisfied with myself.
Jon is barely a sportsman. barely into running. becoz of the sports i am doin these days tat days, i am slowly becoming a sportsman. the transformation starts with me doing my new balance real run. it made me realise how enjoyable the run was. after tat, i took on a new appreciation for running. and have signed up for the 42.195km standard chartered marathon. gosh.. actually after today's run, i kinda m freaking out for the run. 10km did take a bit out of me. perspired SOOOOOOOOOOO much. haha..
well.. let me have a new appreciation of my sport again. heh
- mooncakes. esp durian mooncakes. but since leaving someone, i will get lesser of these - ipod. i need music in my life - to organise my life.. need to slot in trainings for the SG marathon - people who are serious in getting to know me - . . .
